The Phoenix Suns Make Me Sick
There's nothing I hate more than a victim complex.
The San Antonio Spurs are the best team in the NBA over the last decade. This isn't really up for debate. Most casual fans probably don't even realize this because they're not in a market that the media caters to and they don't have players that do cool things like this and this. Their star player, who also happens to be the best player in the NBA over the last decade has all the charisma and attitude of my left nut. Yet, in an unfortunate turn of events engineered by the Phoenix Suns and a media that worships them, the Spurs are now the thugs of the NBA!
How did that happen? Let's examine after the jump...
1. Amare Stoudemire goes whiny bitch on us and blatantly calls them a dirty team.
2. The media finally has a story on the Spurs other than "Tim Duncan Plays the Game the Right Way" and "That Eva Longoria is Some Piece of Ass." Now they get to talk about how Popovich sends Bruce "Assman" Bowen out on the court to BREAK PEOPLE'S ANKLES!!!!!
3. At the end of game 4, Kelly Leak gets hip-checked into the scorer's table by Robert Horry...a blatant hard foul. Kelly Leak inexplicably goes airborne for 5 feet and then acts like he got shot in the temple. Raja Bell goes after Horry. Amare and Diaw come off the bench during an altercation. Horry is penalized accordingly (two shot foul, retain posession, two game suspension.) Amare and Diaw are penalized according to the same book that the rules for Horry's punishment was written...everyone is bullshit. The media is now foaming at the mouth. The indignation over this unjustifiable act of discipline reaches levels not seen since Mike Holmgren forgot what holding is.
4. The Suns coach has his whiny rant. Blogs everywhere have decided that the NBA has it out for the Suns. Bill Simmons thinks it's just like the tuck rule (agreed...sort of) yet in a blatant act of hypocrisy, he goes on for 8 paragraphs destroying the decision. It's funny how I never saw him paint the Raiders as victims of a "bad rule." Basically, game 5 is being played without Horry, Amare, and Diaw per the rules of the NBA...the organization that these teams work under who have agreed to adhere to their policies.
5. Last night, the Suns play a real good game, opening up a 16 point lead. The Spurs chip away and come back with some late heroics by the aforementioned Prince of Darkness...Bruce Bowen. None of it matters now. It's not the story. The Spurs were in a lose-lose situation. They are the bad guys no matter what. Some blogs even go so far as to report on the series with predictably more indignation and not even a mention of WHO WON THE FUCKING GAME!!!! Some other blogs note that the Suns gritty effort was actually the worst thing that could have happened. To reiterate, the premise here is that it was a great basketball game...and that's a bad thing. In what can only be described as temporary case of Membengalitis, Will Leitch gives us this...
But what happened, as you saw, was the Suns playing their hearts out, squeezing every last bit out ... but falling just short because, well, because they only had six players because two of their players were gone because David Stern made a terrible decision that he very well might never live down. (Seriously, we can't think of a time that Stern has taken more justified heat that this; we're not sure he quite realizes yet, actually, how this prominent a part of his epitaph this decision will be if San Antonio wins this series.) The Suns lost because Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw weren't there. They would have won otherwise. It is impossible to argue otherwise.
Has everyone gone completely fucking insane? How can you possibly make that argument? It's impossible to argue that you're not delusional. It's as if he thinks with Amare, the game would have played out exactly the same, but Amare certainly would have scored more than the three point deficit to cover the victory for the Suns. Assinine on so may levels, but people eat this shit right up. It is impossible to argue otherwise.
Bruce Bowen's job is to annoy people. He's hardly a villain. Bill Laimbeer would eat Bowen for breakfast. Manu flops as do half the players in the NBA. Duncan looks shocked when he gets fouled and it isn't called. So does Kelly Leak. That's not the story though...is it?
The Suns are the puppy dogs of the NBA. They are the gritty underdogs (the second best team in the NBA this year ahead of the Spurs) who just go out there and are doing their best to slay Goliath while the corrupt NBA is siding with the big bad Spurs. Didn't the Suns come within a game of the conference finals last year without Amare for the whole season? Regardless, they are the good guys. They are the victims. Don't let the facts get in the way of that.
Scathing. With the same flair as the Steeler Super Bowl defenses. Although I don't think Nash tried to sell the hip-check...in basketball, you usually don't expect that to happen. And Manu is a little bitch. As is Duncan.
Posted by: SL22 | May 17, 2007 at 01:29 PM
Art,
I remember Lambeer from his glory days and you are correct: Lambeer would make Bruce his bitch. But Bowen is dirty as hell. He clearly kneed Nash in the nadbag. He throws elbows like crap dice. His positioning under the rim mysteriously leads to rolled ankles of opposing players. He has always been a dirty player. Not an indictment of the entire Spurs team, but Bowen is a punk.
Posted by: TMan | May 17, 2007 at 01:34 PM
Bowen also pulled that ridiculous shit on Amare, trying to fuck is leg up. Totally unacceptably shit right there that would get your ass kicked at any park in America.
Posted by: jackie | May 17, 2007 at 01:50 PM
TMan, I don't see what you mean.
Alright, Bowen is a punk but I guarantee that you can find a bunch of isolated incidents on players from any team in the NBA and draw the same conclusion. This was a non-story until Amare decided to cry about it.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | May 17, 2007 at 02:03 PM
I see it as black and white. if steve nash werent on the suns i wonder how much righteous indignation there would be over the incident and the suns treatment. On a related topic, I think to get the league back to jordan era popularity, it has elevated nash and nowitsky to the 2 "best players" in the league for the last few yesrs now and have imported a flood of eastern eurpoeans to help remove the leagues "thug" read allen iverson--image.
Posted by: bv | May 17, 2007 at 02:15 PM
bv...that's kind of silly. You are right in that if the roles were reversed there wouldn't be all this indignation but it's got more to do with the fact that there is a Spurs bias because people find them boring. Suns=fun to watch. Spurs=not so much. Although I completely disagree with that sentiment, it definitely exists.
Race doesn't have anything to do with it. Nash and Dirk have been elevated as two of the best players in the league because they are two of the best players in the league.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | May 17, 2007 at 02:48 PM
"Nash and Dirk have been elevated as two of the best players in the league because they are two of the best players in the league."
In my opinion, best players in the league lead their teams to championships..they dont choke in the first round against a team that barely made it into the playoffs and got eliminated in the next round
Posted by: DFS | May 17, 2007 at 03:28 PM
Art, put your contacts back in. From that very same link you posted there are numerous clips of Bowen pulling the same crap with the Knicks, Sonics, etc. These are not "isolated incidents" but a clear pattern of punk-ass bitch play. And I couldn't care less about the NBA, so no fan bias. I just hate punks who would can't compete with their opponents, so they have to try to maim. That fuckwit Mark Schlareth was the same way when he was with the Broncos. Darius Kasparitus was the same with the Penguins.
Posted by: TMan | May 17, 2007 at 04:29 PM
Well, I think I conceded that Bowen pulls some garbage and then I said there are players like that all over the league and it's only news because Amare wanted the Suns to get sympathy...and it worked. Tony Parker nearly got decapitated by Barbosa in that same game and nobody knows a thing about it? Why? Parker, shook it off, smiled, and walked to the foul line. No story there.
So, I'm not really sure what you're arguing.
While we're throwing out names, let's throw Rodney Harrison in there.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | May 17, 2007 at 04:45 PM
No it is because Nash and Nowitzki are white, those two chumps don't have a ring between them but people (read white sports writers) call them the best. Bullshit, this is a league controlled by an old Jew who couldn't ball if you paid him and he sits and rules over a majority black league. That's bullshit right there. The commisionner of a majority black league should be black.
Oh hey token black character from Seinfeld (Jackie) Have you seen the title of Russel Simmons' new book?
Posted by: Large15 | May 17, 2007 at 05:32 PM
If you think Nash and Nowitzki are considered elite because they are white, then you are beyond help. The commissioner of a majority league should be black? What is this, BET? I guess that means Obama can't run for president anymore.
And I agree with BobP's sports frog defense, most of those kinds of injuries are either caused by clumsy idiots or dirty players. Bowen isn't a clumsy idiot.
Posted by: SL22 | May 17, 2007 at 07:03 PM
What injuries exacty has he caused?
Posted by: Art Vandelay | May 17, 2007 at 07:56 PM
Bowen put Steve Francis on the bench with a rolled ankle by being underneath him when Francis put up a lumper and landed on his foot. He did the same thing to Jamal Crawford about a week later (Isiah wanted to get at Bowen after that). He did the same thing to Vince Carter and Ray Allen. Allen, who is normally mild-mannered and a good sportsman, wanted to fight Bowen.
Details and footage here:
http://theassociation.blogs.com/the_association/2006/11/no_doubt_about_.html
Posted by: DSafetyGuy | May 17, 2007 at 10:28 PM
Hey DSafe: Stop letting the facts get in the way of a great rant.
(I admittedly had no idea about that stuff.)
Posted by: jackie | May 17, 2007 at 10:30 PM
wrt #3
you are seriously suggesting nash flopped on horry's hit?
take another hit. and ponder how the finest team of the last decade did not have to play the best team this year at full strength. the suns were victimized not by the spurs and bruce bowen's dangerous, dirty play. they were victimized by david stern's hubris, stubbornness and stupidity.
spurs are not dirty, except bowen. but they are whiny. incredibly whiny, in an age of whininess. this is annoying (as is manu's relentless flopping), and hurts their image.
Posted by: howard in nyc | May 17, 2007 at 11:34 PM
Uh...no howard. I think I made it clear that it was a blatant hard foul. I'm suggesting that he embellished.
David Stern would have had a lot bigger problem on his hands if he chose to make an exception for the Suns.
Hey DSafe: Stop letting the facts get in the way of a great rant.
Again the main contention of the rant is not that Bowen is not a dirty player, but thanks for having my back my man.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | May 18, 2007 at 12:04 AM
Uh...no howard. I think I made it clear that it was a blatant hard foul. I'm suggesting that he embellished.
I just saw this play clearly for the first time. I'd seen it before and was banged up and drooling all over my pillow.
I completely agree with this assessment.
As for your back, man, manbro and all, I'm frankly not interested.
Posted by: jackie | May 18, 2007 at 04:30 AM
"While we're throwing out names, let's throw Rodney Harrison in there."
And let's not forget Hines Ward and Joey Porter.
"but they are whiny. incredibly whiny, in an age of whininess."
Nail on the head, Howard.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | May 18, 2007 at 09:17 AM
Hey, Joey Porter's a Dolphin, man.
Posted by: SL22 | May 18, 2007 at 09:47 AM
Chiles, what the hell are you doing at 4:30 in the morning?
Nail on the head, Howard.
Except this whole thing started because Amare whined. Now he's a fucking martyr.
Posted by: Art Vandelay | May 18, 2007 at 10:04 AM
"Chiles, what the hell are you doing at 4:30 in the morning?"
Smart money's on something food-related.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | May 18, 2007 at 11:59 AM
"Except this whole thing started because Amare whined. Now he's a fucking martyr."
This incident maybe, but I wan't talking about that. I was applying Howard's quote in more of a general sense. We are indeed in the age of whiners. Doesn't matter if it's Amare, Nash, or Kordell Stewart.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | May 18, 2007 at 12:04 PM
embellished. heh.
you are high.
Posted by: howard in nyc | May 18, 2007 at 12:15 PM
This incident maybe, but I wan't talking about that. I was applying Howard's quote in more of a general sense. We are indeed in the age of whiners. Doesn't matter if it's Amare, Nash,Kordell Stewart, or Tom Brady.
I completely agree.
you are high.
...and you, my friend, are a sheep.
(disclaimer...howard is far from a sheep but his refual to look at this situation with an ounce of pragmatism allows me to drop that on him)
(yes...I'm high and it's great.)
Posted by: Art Vandelay | May 18, 2007 at 12:34 PM
"Chiles, what the hell are you doing at 4:30 in the morning?"
Smart money's on something food-related.
You guys kill me.
Truth is, I was scarfing down a grilled chicken from the fake Gray's Papayas on my corner and wondering why the hell I put down about 10 Grey Gooses and Red Bull and played the wingman role until 4:15 a.m. at my buddies unairconditioned POS studio while he tried to bang some around 40 year old Swedish chick.
He owes me. Big time.
Posted by: jackie | May 18, 2007 at 01:00 PM