We Need to Get a Sample

Orders of business are as follows:

1.) Maine is no more. Per the Seinfeldian rules of the AOFG, I am the Assman, and the Assman only. (Think you've got what I'm looking for?)

2.) Since I don't keep a blog anymore, when I've got some shit to say, this is where I'll be saying it. (I was either doing this, or I was going to have to stand outside of City Hall wearing a sandwich board, next to a homeless guy who seems to do the human beat box for a living. I don't know about you, but I'd rather not spend my late afternoons covered in bum spit.)

3.) I can't be the only guy that notices what's going on with young athletes these days. The other day I was watching a Cleveland Cavalier game and wondered why a guy that looked like Delroy Lindo's older brother was starting at small forward. I didn't know whether to stand up and cheer or to wait for Jet Li to jump from another dimension and fight him.

Why do some of these supposedly young athletes look so damned old?  Greg Oden's supposedly a college freshman, but if I saw that guy walking into my dorm room, I wouldn't know whether to immediately hide my weed or to start promising that I wouldn't miss his class anymore.  That guy looks so old, that if a story came out tomorrow saying Robert Parrish hadn't been seen in the last two years, I'd immediately become suspicious.

People talk about how Mark McGwire and the gang all used steroids and nobody asked any questions until all the records were already tainted. Well... I'm raising this question now. Are these kids taking hormones? Is it such a far leap to say, "Hey - this guy is a super athlete and plays far better than every other kid his age. He also happens to look like Bernie Casey after a long weekend. Should we ask him to piss in a cup?"

AOFG Faithful, am I crazy, or should we be somewhat suspicious?

Comments

[jackie]

Welcome aboard, Assman. Like Manna From Heaven, my man. Manna From Heaven.

Just do me a favor and don't make us mere bloggin mortals look too bad.

As of your post, Oden has to be about 36. Either that, or when you were taking down Flinstones vitamins, he was taking down horse pills.

[Jack Klompus]

I don't know. Remember 'ol Shawn Kemp? He was thrice a grandfather by the time his rookie season rolled around. Dude must have been laying the pipe in kindergarten.

[Flash]

I call shenanigans on Greg Oden. He looks like Robert Parish's grandfather.