Uninvited

You're UFC Ass Kicker Tito Ortiz. The United States Marines Corps invites you to host their Birthday Ball. The Corps comes to find out that you're bringing perhaps one the most knuckleshuffled to girls on the planet -- your girlfriend, porn star Jenna Jameson. The Marines then tell you no dice if you bring the ho. Whaddya do?

Comments

[Johnnie]

Very Air Force-like. You wouldda thought that the Marines would have realized who he was dating before inviting him if this was going to be such a problem.

And unfortunately, regardless of the fact that a bunch of riled Marines (or any military servicemen - and probably women) would love the fact that the world's most recognized porn star will be in the building, it is quite an issue because the military has an image to keep.

[Frank]

I stay home, order a pizza, watch my "Full Metal Jacket" DVD and bang my porn star girlfriend.

[Unholy Moses]

I second Frank's comments ... although I'd probably order Chinese food and invite one of Jenna's girlfriends over to join the fun.

But I'm weird like that.

[M. Butler]

I'd dump her and find a girl that hasn't been used as a toilet. But still watch her films.

[Jack Klompus]

Can you ever really say you're "dating" Jenna Jameson? I can't imagine anyone (lesbians included) being able to say "my girlfriend Jenna" with a straight face. "My toilet Jenna?" Yes.

[lattalayne]

I haven't witnessed this myself, but one of my UFC watching friends says Tito often comes out waving a Mexican flag? So he gets the invite to the United States Marine Corp ball? Hugo Chavez not available?
I agree with the Gunny they quoted, the guest of honor should be a decorated Marine. If they want to have a separate party or something and invite Ortiz and his, uh "girlfriend", fine. But this shindig is supposed to be about the Marines.

[Kristal K]

"it is quite an issue because the military has an image to keep."

Now THAT is high comedy!

They won't let a porn star into a dinner, but it's okay for soldiers to engage POWs into lewd sex acts? Some of the stuff from Abu Ghraib made Jenna look like Shari Lewis with Lambchop.

[Jerloma]

It seems like the military is regressing in this fashion. Why was it acceptable to have Marilyn Monroe do all those USO shows back in the 50s? Did they not have an issue with sex back then?

[Maine]

Given the choice between staying home and going to a "party" where half the people there will be half-cocked meatheads who secretly think they can take me and just need about 2 or 3 more beers before they decide to try and prove it, I'd go with the couch.

Besides, guys with hot lesbian girlfriends don't need to go to parties. You just send her and see who she brings home to you.

[daveNYC]

So the marines only want to see the UFC guy, but not his porn star girlfriend.

Don't ask don't tell in action?

[SLaird22]

I bet he can hide in her vagina.

[TMan]

I guarantee you this is Bible-thumper decision.

[Bluehorseshoe]

F8ck, I didn't know Tito was Dating her. What a champ. My opinion of him just rocketed.

[DFS]

so when are these two gonna do a sex video? Folks might actually want to see that.

I read that Jenna was even voted the favorite female porn star of gay men.

[ddd]

Ah.... DFS... what kinda stuff ya readin these days???

[M. Butler]

I would pay to see Tito beat the hell out of her.

[DFS]

"Ah.... DFS... what kinda stuff ya readin these days???"

I think it was actually in Jenna's wikipedia article. Im not ashamed.....

[briandtw]

Did it occur to anyone else that having a UFC dude as your guest of honor or whatever it is isn't exactly like the height of class to begin with? How does having a porn star there really drag down the proceedings any more at that point?

[Johnnie]

Now THAT is high comedy!

They won't let a porn star into a dinner, but it's okay for soldiers to engage POWs into lewd sex acts? Some of the stuff from Abu Ghraib made Jenna look like Shari Lewis with Lambchop.

It isn't OK for soldiers to treat POW's like pond scum. (Even if some of them may have been.) But you would rather call into question the matters of the Geneva Convention and what the military condones, apparently - in your point of view - with a public setting where the military will ACTUALLY condone a situation in which a person in a profession that is completely incompatible with what the military perpetuates? Unfair comparison and shortsighted. Read the UCMJ to see how the military treats sex. (And it goes beyond just gay sex, mind you.)

Jerloma has a better argument with prior USO tours and the women invited to those. However pinups and pornstars, while in the same business, go about making their money differently. In some way the 'morals' & 'values' (I would assume) are still in tact for those who don't fuck for a buck than those who do. (Or that's just what they want me to believe.)

Do I agree with them 'univiting' her? In a way yes, but ultimately no. Reneging on an invite shows a nice mea culpa. It would have been more prudent that the Marines (or whoever was involved in picking a guest speaker) do a bit of a check before deciding on a certain person. But whatever with the Monday Morning Quarterbacking.

And what Shari Lewis did with lamb chop is none of my business.

[Cozmo]

Passionate defense of the Marine position from the AofG's favorite NCO, but this...

And what Shari Lewis did with lamb chop is none of my business.

Damn near killed me. Well played, Johnnie.

[Jerloma]

Pornstars were so underground those days that relatively speaking, I consider Marilyn Monroe to be on the same plane as Jenna Jameson today. I realize how easy that argument is to dispute but I'm throwing it out there anyway. If anyone wants the low-hanging fruit, be my guest.

[Johnnie]

Passionate defense of the Marine position from the AofG's favorite NCO, but this...

And what Shari Lewis did with lamb chop is none of my business.

Damn near killed me. Well played, Johnnie.

Just giving back to a website that gives out so much. And thank you greatly for the kind words. (Coincidentally, my ceremony is tonight to commend my making the NCO position. I sew on December 1st.)

And Jerloma, you are correct. I agree with you. However, times have changed and lines are drawn somewhere. It was ok back in those days to do a whole helluva lot because of the society that they lived in. A lot of things today that happened 50 years ago are just not allowed or even mildly tolerated in any way shape or form. The old timers call our age, "The Playstation Generation," a "kindler and gentler" Air Force. Political Correctness is apparent all over the Armed Services. It isn't OK to objectify (even though it is still subtly done) women at any level. And rightfully so. But that line is gleefully crossed when Jenna Jameson shows up. (If it was perhaps Gisselle or Alessandra, maybe a different story.)

[Big Tit Bangers]

Hi! Have a nice day.

[microsoft]

Vanity is not a valid reason for cosmetic plastic surgery

[toyota-car]

I just don't have much to say right now, but I guess it doesn't bother me. Basically nothing seems worth thinking about. Nothing notable happening these days. Shrug. Not that it matters. My mind is like a void. I've basically been doing nothing , not that it matters. More or less nothing going on. I guess it doesn't bother me. Not much on my mind.