Friday Fun: These Are The Douchebags of Our Lives

Like sands through the hourglass kids ...

How about the white kid that went to Princeton who is being recruited for a fairly handsomely paying job in Corporate America who feels the need to hit a brutha with this: "Yo, what's poppin' dog? Ya know, I'm part African and that kid is tryin' to shade me and I just might have to knock him the fuck out. You hear me G? Can't let nobody be dissin' you like that, ya heard? We gonna blaze later tonight? Represent, B. Represent."

On Mama Chiles' life, I heard this from some superdouchebag who is working at my job this summer. I told some of my buddies I would call him over to our table at tonight's function for clowning sake, but that I simply would not be able to hold it in. They pleaded with me to do so...so I did. And it turns out, amazingly, I behaved. However, like three sentences out of his mouth and they cracked the fuck up. Turns out that eventually, without any acknowledgement or recognition that everyone thought he was a fucking douchebag, the kid said: "Peace out, Yo" an moved on. Is it really possible for someone to be that fucking clueless? Who are the douchebags in your lives?

(By the way, I apologize for the two-day dead period. Shit happens.)

Comments

[Oracle]

Maybe times have changed; however one of my mother's sagely admonitions comes to mind: contempt is the best rod for a fool.

[DFS]

JC are you serious? that shit made me sick to my motherfucking stomach

[Killer Marine]

"For English, press '1'. For Spanish, press '2'. For Brutha-WTF, press '3'." Please translate.

[Kristal K]

"Is it really possible for someone to be that fucking clueless?"

The question answers itself:

-Ivy educated
-White kid
-Corporate America
-Bonus points if the tool is from Westchester

[BF Hoodrich]

Ah, I remember those days, back when I thought spittin' all sorts of slang and representin' for the hood made me cool . . . and then I entered high school.

What a clown. How that guy has come this far and still doesn't get that he's an absolute imbecile amazes me.

(Props, though, Chiles--I definitely wouldn't have been able to contain the laughter. Those kind of dudes kill me.)

[Jack Klompus]

What if the dude wasn't white? Would he still be a ridculuous douchebag for acting like that?

[Kramer]

I agree. Pride in one's or another's culture is admirable. But destroying the English language for sport and wiggerness is weak. But hey, its a hip hop world.

[Kramer]

Kristal: How many points for Nassau, Fairfield or Bergen?

[Ann Tye]

Don't blame him. Passing for black is in these days! Being black remains out, but passing is cool.

[Bluehorseshoe]

so this idiot was talking this crap in a corporate environment....are you serious??

How the fuck did he get past interviews??

Was it possible he was being kinda, ironic, in a Sacha Baron-Cohen kinda way??

[Jackie]

"Was it possible he was being kinda, ironic, in a Sacha Baron-Cohen kinda way??"

No. Less than zero chance.

"What if the dude wasn't white? Would he still be a ridculuous douchebag for acting like that"

Yes. He just gets bonus points for being white. (Truth is though, it really has more to do with place of upbringing and the like than color. For a guy to be in that position, it's pretty much impossible, unless he's borderline retarded, for him to think that type of stuff is acceptable.)

[john pike]

word to your mutha...

[soup nazi]

That's trippin' yo.

[Cozmo]

Chiles,

Why you gotta play me like this, yo? In a public situation, no less.

You cut a brutha, man. You cut me.

[The big O]

"wiggerness" Don't use that term please, it is saying white N----- and any use of n----- will get yo ass whooped. thanks.

Klompus, yeah I can think of a few other ethnic backgrounds that I don't wanna hear that shit from. I'm from Seattle, I was on public transpo back in the day and heard a group of asian kids talkin like that, and I had to say somethin'. It's just corny, if it's forced, you're a douche applicator, if it comes natural, than do you.

Chiles, I applaud you bruh, you shoulda whooped his ass. Cats like that are in dire need of a good ass whoopin', I'm serious one good one and they'll be straight. There are so many clowns in this world who just need a good ass whoopin', everybody should get they ass whopped at least once, works wonders for keepin it in reality.

[Jack Klompus]

"everybody should get they ass whopped at least once, works wonders for keepin it in reality."

Didn't work for Ken Shamrock. Ortiz took to it to him for the second time last Saturday. Anyone else see that UFC debacle?

[Jack Klompus]

"It's just corny, if it's forced, you're a douche applicator, if it comes natural, than do you."

I don't think that kind of speak comes natural to anyone.

[briandtw]

For once, Klompus and I are in agreement.

By the way, Coz and Jackie. You guys are killing me.

[The big O]

"Yo, what's poppin' dog? Ya know, I'm part African and that kid is tryin' to shade me and I just might have to knock him the fuck out. You hear me G? Can't let nobody be dissin' you like that, ya heard? We gonna blaze later tonight? Represent, B. Represent."

I'm sorry but this type of conversation comes naturally to millions of cats in this country. You can hear this on many a corner of many a block in many cities around this bitch. It is kinda funny to hear somebody use G and B in the same paragraph, those are from opposite coasts.

[Kramer]

I can say white nigger. black nigger. russian nigger. mongolian nigger. The oppressed can never be the oppressor and bring a lunch O, if you want to throw hands.

[The big O]

You can say whatever you want to say, this ain't Iraq. Do you brother do you. Any version of that shit just hurts my ears. but if you like how it sounds comin out ya mouth, by all means diahrea (probably spelled that wrong but whatever). just watch who you say it around, especially with that 'er' on the end.

[jerloma]

especially with that 'er' on the end.

Can a nigga borrow a pencil?

[john pike]

i don't think i could get by a week of work without a well-placed "hey, can you help a brother out?" or "come on, give a brother a break"...

[The big O]

"i don't think i could get by a week of work without a well-placed "hey, can you help a brother out?" or "come on, give a brother a break"..."

Ok????

[Scottie]

"Is it really possible for someone to be that fucking clueless?"

Does he like to call himself "RBaller" also?