AofG Ken Lay Contest
What would be the appropriate way for Kenneth to spend eternity? Take the gloves off and Air Your Grievances. This is a site for adults.
(Free night of NYC's finest crack, hookers and booze with me, Frank and Cozmo to the winner.)
he should have to spend eternity going down on Golda Meir...the late Israeli PM
Posted by: Bluehorseshoe | July 06, 2006 at 08:03 AM
I was completely pissed that he died. At his "vacation home in Colorado". How many of the people who lost their entire life's savings because of him have a vacation home in Colorado? Or anywhere else?
The sorry-assed fucker never served a day in prison, dying in his nice, expensive house of natural causes. I just hope it wasn't an instantaneous death and that he suffered extreme pain for quite a while before he died.
Maybe they could wake him up and let him have his massive coronary over and over again throughout eternity?
Posted by: lattalayne | July 06, 2006 at 08:12 AM
Actively managing Satan's 401(k)
Posted by: puddy | July 06, 2006 at 08:15 AM
Lattalayne - I totally agree. Aspen is one of the most beautiful places on God's green earth, and there's almost no justice in the fact that he didn't spend at least one day getting ass raped in prison - because even in Club Fed, Ken Lay tossing your salad is one hell of a status symbol.
In that vein, I propose we send Ken to work a union janitorial job in the outskirts of hell where all the fornicators reside. And Ken will be the guy who has to mop up all the Santorum generated by those lucky, lucky souls.
Eseentialy, I propose that Ken will now be the guy who cleans up Satan's peep show booth.
Posted by: Cozmo | July 06, 2006 at 09:37 AM
He should be a financial Sisyphus, spending years being homeless and hungry, striving to get any near the poverty line, and just as it seems that things are looking up he should loose everything do to some third party's financial fraud. Bonus points if the fraud involves mark-to-market accounting.
Posted by: daveNYC | July 06, 2006 at 09:39 AM
He should just be a former Enron employee.
Mid-management, hardworker, nearing 60, flush Enron-only 401K, leases a Caddy, looking to retire in 6 months, owns 3 Bedroom house and looking for a second place in Boca....
Then, the bottom falls out, 401K empty, Caddy repo'd, unhire-able at his age for the money comensurate with his experience, so he has to start, all over again, at a minimum wage paying job, strugging to make ends meet, borrowing on credit cards, wife leaves him for her personal trainer, he must debate whether he should buy food or medicine, living in a flea bag roadside motel that rents some rooms by the hour -- for all of eternity...not one moment's peaceful rest.
Posted by: Kristal K | July 06, 2006 at 11:17 AM
He should have to toss Dick Cheney's salad, while giving Dubya a reach around.
Posted by: The big O | July 06, 2006 at 11:27 AM
Some Australian inmates came up with a great one they used on a paticularly infamous member of a gang that Gang-raped and murdered a young girl - inserted razor wire into a large hose, inserted said hose into anus of said rapist and removed the hose, leaving the razor wire....messy
Posted by: Bluehorseshoe | July 06, 2006 at 11:30 AM
I'm gonna un-officially declare Bluehorse the winner.
And anyhow, I don't need any hookers(maybe a gigilo, tho) and instead of crack I'd really rather have a set of spinners. Some 22's to go on my '88 Reliant. But the booze would be good.
Posted by: lattalayne | July 06, 2006 at 12:05 PM
First off, every dime him and his family have ever made from Enron gets divied up to former Enron employees, then, his wife and kids each serve his prison term. Lastly, get the "Body Worlds" dude to plasticize his ass, put him up on display, and let all the people he has screwed come and kick him in the nuts.
Posted by: Babu | July 06, 2006 at 01:43 PM
I would make him the gimp in pulp fiction.
Posted by: M. Butler | July 06, 2006 at 05:56 PM
remind me not to fall asleep at bluehorse's house...
Posted by: john pike | July 06, 2006 at 06:00 PM
They should make Kenneth Lay the head coach of the Knicks for eternity. His only free-agent signing will be Eddie Griffin. Any time not spent on the court will be riding shotgun in Griffin's Escalade, giving his new star a "helping hand" to dashboard porn involving Cindy Sheehan.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | July 06, 2006 at 06:13 PM
havent you guys heard? There's speculation that he's still alive Thats right, he bought off the coroner, police and everybody else. Like Tupac
People can be moronic
Posted by: DFS | July 06, 2006 at 06:52 PM
I bet Lay's "heart-attack" was artificially induced. Somewhere Dr. Kavorkian must have been lurking in the backdrop at the sentencing hearing. For the jilted many: "NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE," may ring stingingly hollow at the moment.
I don't believe in Hell exactly, but news like this makes wish like hell there was one!
Posted by: MM | July 06, 2006 at 07:58 PM
Founding Father Frank will announce the winner on Monday morning! Keep 'em coming kids.
Good Times!
Posted by: Jackie | July 06, 2006 at 10:16 PM
While living in worst most filthy high crime housing project (think rats the size of Volkswagens, constant gun shots, no running water, and holes in the roof), he would be savagely gang raped by a pack of mutated sexually disease laden barb-wire cock ring wearing goats while on his way to collect food stamps.
Posted by: ddd | July 07, 2006 at 09:38 AM
Barb-wire cock ring. Nice touch.
Posted by: daveNYC | July 07, 2006 at 11:34 AM
Goddamn triple d!!!! Isn't that suite in hell already being used by Hitler?
Posted by: The big O | July 07, 2006 at 11:59 AM
I am not a conspiracy nut, but I do not doubt for one second that that FUCK Lay is still alive. Put nothing past the First Chimp and his trainor, Field Marshall Cheney.
They stole the 2000 via a loaded Supreme Court that has rendered our Constitution impotent. Then they rigged the voting in Ohio(my home state) in '04. Also remeber that Popi Bush was involved in Iran-Contra and there is About 20 million missing from that still.
All of that being said, if he is still alive, I pray gets something fitting like ALS. As for his whore/accomplice wife, we should all pray for HPV followed by a long, painful, losing battle with Cervical cancer.
To all GOPers everywhere: FUCK OFF and DIE.
Posted by: hunior89 | July 08, 2006 at 12:01 AM
Yeah, something like bluehorseshoe said. While having to eat out an untreated syphilltic Paris Hilton.
Posted by: membengal | July 08, 2006 at 10:30 AM
"I am not a conspiracy nut"
Obviously.
Posted by: Jack Klompus | July 08, 2006 at 11:17 AM
What exactly did Ken Lay do to deserve these comments? The only thing he did was feed off of the greed of Americans who bought into his scheme.
If he was a rapper, you guys would be saying "don't hate the playa, hate the game."
Posted by: Nominal Me | July 08, 2006 at 11:26 AM
"The only thing he did was feed off of the greed of Americans who bought into his scheme."
Oh, is that all?
"If he was a rapper, you guys would be saying "don't hate the playa, hate the game."
What you mean by "you guys?" Is that like "you people?"
Posted by: Jack Klompus | July 08, 2006 at 03:17 PM
I think Ken Lay should have to sit in a room and talk with Hunior89 for eternity. That should do it.
Posted by: M. Butler | July 08, 2006 at 03:41 PM