...He has alot of problems with some kid in Illinois, and in the process of airing his grievance realizes that there is much more to it than just a t-shirt:
There's a kid in the coffee shop I'm typing in right now who is wearing a Nirvana T-shirt. It is important to note here that I love Nirvana. If you add up all the things in the world I love, with the possible exception of my girlfriend, my family and Willie McGee, and it doesn't even come close to how much I love Nirvana. I could get into this more, but it would succeed only in pegging me further as the pathetic aging grunge rock dork that I so obviously am.
Anyway, this kid is about 14 years old, with red hair, a cowlick and a frappacino in front of him. And he's wearing a Nirvana shirt. Even though he's sitting at a table with a bunch of other hellion rugrats, he's listening to an iPod, bopping along. It's loud enough that I can tell he's listening to The Game. Occassionally he'll jut his finger -- yo, YO -- and twist his hand sideways, like he's holding a glock in that sideways fashion that everyone thought was a cool way to hold a gun in the late '90s. Teenagers are chattering all around him, but he is alone, jamming along, rat-a-tat-tat, watch ya back, bitches, hos, all that. And he sits there with that Nirvana shirt, which I bet he got at the Urban Outfitters because it was expensive, probably three times what I paid for the exact same shirt in 1992, and he's the type of kid who doesn't really want anything unless he knows it's expensive.
Aw, Christ, he has braces. I hadn't noticed that before.
I see this kid, who is half my age, and I know he is looking at me, who happens to be wearing a Nirvana hat, and he looks at me the same way I used to look at people wearing The Doors hats to cover up their bald spots when I was that age. And sweet Christ I hate him. Sweet Christ I hate us both.
Happy Festivus, everybody!
Will, Deadspin continues to be a source of inspriation to us here at tha AofG, so thanks for gathering 'round the pole with us.