Listen, the moment I heard the Knicks fired the abysmal Scott Layden and hired Isiah Thomas my immediate reaction was: Out of the fire, into the frying pan. And, of course, the man with the reverse midas touch (when it comes to anything other than playing the game) has done nothing to let me down. His latest transgression? Signing yet another useless swingman, but not just your run of the mill sanitation, nope, not at all. This cat brings some extra funk to the table, ya know, that middle-of-the-summer-sweltering-hot-and-humid-and-the-trash-ain't-been-picked-up-in-a-minute-funk. Would would that be? Qyntel Woods. Why so funky? 'Cause he's an out-and-out scumbag. I mean really, making your pit fight and then dropping her off in the woods with "fresh puncture wounds, scars and bruises on her chest, belly and legs" to die? Who does that?
(Oh yeah, Qyntel's career NBA averages? 3 pts, 1.5 reb., .5 ast. Helluva move.)
Jesus H Motherfucking Christ!!!! The paper is still referencing his college stats (Northeast Mississippi Community College) because he has fuckall of a record in the pros. I don't think you could make a worse trade if you were in a fantasy league and you were making a run for the $20 prize for last. And please tell me that when the Times says Small Forward, what they really mean is Point Guard, because that was what I was under the impression that the Knicks needed.
The best thing you can say about this cast-off Jailblazer is that at least he's not on Centrum Silver like the rest of the Knicks.
Posted by: daveNYC | December 07, 2005 at 01:10 AM
Great picture. Ain't it the truth? So ironic because Isiah Thomas is afraid of big dogs. One of the reasons he hated Ron Mercer(brought his BIG ones to practice). "I like a dog small enough to kick," he said.
Isiah has only been tough when he had Lambier behind him or his mother.
As for Woods, the cops found the room in his house splattered with blood when they did the luminol (spelling?)
Posted by: Curtis Jackson | December 07, 2005 at 02:02 AM
"As for Woods, the cops found the room in his house splattered with blood when they did the luminol (spelling?)"
Wonderful:
Insiders say that Qyntel Woods, the Trail Blazers guard who is being investigated for dog-fighting allegations by the Clackamas County district attorney, might not face charges. Staging a dog fight in Oregon is a felony but Woods' house was searched almost six weeks ago, more than enough time to have charged him by now.
Still, the evidence gathered is disturbing. A second search warrant revealed that investigators found an L-shaped room above Woods' garage that had been freshly painted. After using hemaglow lighting, which picks up traces of blood, police found blood smears and dog prints all over the room. Other items seized from Woods' house: marijuana, a bong made out of a Gatorade bottle, dog medicine, a treadmill and several blood samples.
A treadmill?
Posted by: Jackie | December 07, 2005 at 03:24 AM
Jackie
"A treadmill?"
--He might be crazy, but he is an athlete (which might be redundant). It really makes perfect sense, he runs (on treadmill), drinks Gatorade and rewards himself with some herb.
Posted by: Kristal K | December 07, 2005 at 09:04 AM
Isiah is nearly complete in assembling his squad of overvalued NBA players I despise.
If Dirk Nowiski were somehow available, I'm sure he'd roll him into the mix as well.
Posted by: Cozmo | December 07, 2005 at 09:57 AM
Diggler would have to do some serious sunbathing before Isiah would consider bringing him aboard.
Posted by: Jackie | December 07, 2005 at 10:49 AM
Ok now Qyntel Woods is my favorite player ever.
Your tellin me that hes in the NBA and hes still makin bongs out of gatorade bottles? my hero.
and i think that the treadmill was used to keep the dogs in shape.it makes more sense anyway.why not buy a treadmill so you dont actually have to walk the dog.
Posted by: KHAN-yeezy | December 07, 2005 at 11:45 AM
Isn't it supposed to be "Isaiah"?
Posted by: Steve H. | December 07, 2005 at 12:26 PM
GONG SHOW!
Posted by: Cozmo | December 07, 2005 at 12:31 PM
http://www.themightymjd.com/2005/12/tremendous-news-for-cingular-customers.html
GONG SHOW!!!
Posted by: Cozmo | December 07, 2005 at 12:35 PM
Yeah, the treadmill was for the dogs. It sounds like he was in deep. This is the shadiest of shady business'. I remember reading a National Geographic article back in the day about this business. Maybe now that he's in NY, he can get into the Cock-Fighting scene and get himself a Little Jerry Seinfeld.
"Tamales!!!"
Posted by: jbcizool | December 07, 2005 at 12:39 PM
I was guessing the treadmill was for prostitutes but i suppose dogs is reasonable also.
Posted by: BillCross | December 07, 2005 at 02:35 PM
this brings me to my next point...why havent they came up with paint that covers blood stains?
Posted by: KHAN-yeezy | December 07, 2005 at 03:09 PM
It may be difficult to sell paint that covers blood stains. Its for.....the, um, no reason, I just like the color.
The government may want to add "flags" to customers who buy this blood cover up paint, like they watch hydroponic sales, fertilizer, and the Catcher in the Rye.
Posted by: M. Butler | December 08, 2005 at 01:49 PM